Bravery & Putting Yourself First

Being brave. It's something that we, as individuals, as people, take for granted. 


As of recent, I have had to make decisions, and be brave, especially when it has come to looking for what was best for myself. It is so easy to get caught up in the world, the machine, and forget to think about what you deserve. Over the past two months, my life has been anything but organised and productive, and due to this, I haven't been keeping up with this blog or anything really. 

Quick recap, I got a job! Not the job I told you last about, no, this one was only part-time, and I loved it! At first... There were numerous issues: the hours, the travel, the feeling like I was being picked on when I probably wasn't (but even if I definitely wasn't, I should not have been feeling like that); and after only one month I decided I had enough. 

The thing is, I did not go and spend over £47,000 and three years of studying to only work part-time on a high-street. Although I do admit, everyone has to start somewhere, but I don't believe that was my start. I felt like that job was hindering my career. I came out of work feeling tired and put down, definitely not motivated to go on and find graduate jobs and the start of a career. 

I had to be brave, and say I was done, which was so scary. 


It's been almost a week since I quit my job, and I have never felt better. Yeah, there's some dread as I think and wonder to myself 'where will I be next month?' or 'how long will it be before I'm employed again?' but I'm lucky. Although I dream of moving in with Arran, I have the support of my family back home taking care of me before I can fly the nest. 

I have noticed that I'm getting better. Putting myself first was the most important thing I could have done recently. Quitting my job is such a crazy thing to do, but my gosh do I feel a weight has been lifted. I think this inspirational #GIRLBOSS change occurred two weeks ago, when I went and spoke to a mental health professional, and finally got some help for the way I've been feeling. For the past two weeks I've been trialling a type of antidepressant, in hope I can start feeling myself again, and to my luck so far we're doing well. 

I've been applying for jobs. I should be on my way to making a change, a positive one at that, which will hopefully start a catalyst reaction to finding happiness. 


~ Ellen ~
xoxox


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